تحميل ومشاهدة فيلم كوميديا Meet the Fockers

Meet the Fockers

نظرة عامة

يتوجه رجل وكالة المخابرات المركزية السابق جاك بيرنز وزوجته دينا إلى المناخ الأكثر دفئًا في فلوريدا للقاء والدي صهرهما جريج فوكر. على عكس ذريتهم المتطابقة بسعادة، فإن أصهار المستقبل يجدون أنفسهم في موقف من الأضداد التي لا تجتذب بالتأكيد.

الشعبية

56.08

تاريخ الاصدار

2004-12-22

الإيرادات

516642939

الحالة

تم إصداره

معرف IMDB

tt0290002

معرف TMDB

693

الشركات المنتجة

Universal Pictures

DreamWorks Pictures

Tribeca Productions

Everyman Pictures

Misery loves family.

نص الفيلم

.أريد الطبيب اللآن

.لا يوجد أطباء

.عليك بعملية الولادة

تباً

.انظروا لقد تجحنا

أنت بطلي

سأسمي الطفل باسمك

لا داعي

سأسمية

لسنا هنا اترك رسالة

اخبرتكم بتغير تلك الرسالة

اتصلت لأتأكد، سنأتي

في السابعة والنصف

"اتصل افلام اكشن 2023 مترجم كامل جديد لي، اريد ان

اتحدث معك بخصوص أب "بام

حسنا وادعاً

كيف حالك

احزري موقع سيما ماذا

ماذا؟

لقد ماي سينما افلام 2022 قمت سيما روم ميراكولوس الموسم الخامس بعملية ولادة أولى

هذا سيما ماي رائع

انا فحورة لك

كان رائع

هذا افلام عربي جيد \

هل انت مستعدة

انتظر قليلاً

انت تعرفي ان الأمور تسوء

لا تقلق ، سيكون

كل شيء على ما يرام

اهلك رائعين

بكميات قليلة

ساعة مدة قليلة واهلي يحبوك

نعم لقد كسبت اهلك

هل ذهبوا للمطار

نعم

خذوا هذه

رج لطيب

انتما، افلام فور يو دوركم

مقاعد الدرجة الثانية محجوزة

هل فاتتنا رحلتنا

سنرفعكم إلى الدرجة الأولى

لما لا آخذ هذه

ماذا ستفعلين

سأضعها في غرفة افلام مصرية كوميدية 2023 الطيار

شراب

شكراً

هل تريد تأمين

لا

انها خدعه

هذا صحيح

"بيت "البيريز

أمي، أبي

انا اراقبك

عليك فعلها هكذا

احزر من اتى

لقد اتوا

حبيبتي

هكذا صحيح

سعدت برؤيتك

انا ايضاً

لقد كبرت

"هذا "جريج

أسف جريج

لا افلام مصريه 2023 سيما لايت داعي

انه يعرف الناس جيداً

انه افلام هندية 2023 وى سيما مثلك

لماذا هو هنا

أهله في تايلاند

ما كل هذه

بعد ترك المدرسة

الحربية فعل أباك هذا

جريج ، تكلم معه

انه يفهم الكلام

هل انت فيلم جائع؟

اريد اكل المزيد،

واريد النوم، والتغوط

سمعت عن هذا

في هذا العمر عقله يستوعب فيلم سطار السعودي الكثير

ولكن عندما يصل الى عمرك سيقل ذلك

هذا جميل، هل احمله

ليست افلام ديزني 2023 فكرة جيدة

حسنا

لن توقعك

أضنه يحبني

تباً

هذا كلام سيء، لا اريده سماع ذلك

انت عرب سيد تخيفه

أباك يحب ان يكون افلام مترجمه جداً

نعم

ياالهي

أبي، ما هذا

هذا بيت متنقل

هذا رائع

مثل التنك

جدرانه سميكة مثل المدرعات

اريدك بحصه، ارم هاي سيما طوبة على الزجاج

لن افعل

مجرد فحص

حسناً

بكل قوتك

لا تقلق، التأمين سيتكفل بذلك

"سنقود هذا إلى "ميامي

ظننت اننا سنذهب جواً شاهد 4 يو غداً

لا ، لا احب الطائرات

اشعر براحة اكبر

إذا سنذهب جميعاً في هذا

هكذا فاصل سنصل نصق يوم

أبكر ونتعرف على عائلتك

أليس هذا سيما للجميع رائعاً

نعم

مرحبا، لم تردي علي

سنأتي غداً في العصر وليس ليلاً

وسيأتي معنا طفل

تفضلوا

هذا رائع

نعم

السيد " جينكس"

تعلم استعمال الحمام

جاك علمه ذلك

كيف حالك

مستعد ايها المساعد

رائع، أنا مساعد

هيا بنا

مرحبا بكم انا الكابتن

الحمام للتبول فقط، لغير ذلك

سنتوقف في المكان المناسب

أحب ذلك، هل أجرب

للكابتن فقط

هل تريد تجريب سيما فور يو الزامور

نعم

للكابتن فقط

انظر

هل افلام شاهد فور يو تريد الحليب

جاك، الزامور

لا أريد

هيا لقد قرعت الزامور، الآن دورك

يبدو مثل فريق أو ما شابه

"شكراً "جريج

مرحباً، لا تقلق نحن اصدقاء

ماذا ماي سيما بالطو تقول

اعلم هذا، تريد التغوط

ماذا مشاهدة افلام فعلت

لا شيء، اظنه يريد التغوط

هذه علامة الحليب

وهذه علامة التغوط

وما هي علامة الحليب الحامض

"لان هذا من ثدي " دبي

لقد تعبت من اجل ذلك

ولماذا ذلك

لأن الأطفال لا

يحبون فرقة أمهاتهم

لذا فعلت هذا لا تحزن

اسمه الثدي الذكري

حسنا

انه رائع

هل تريد لمسه

لا

هيا لتحس افضل افلام كم هو طري

استطيع رؤية ذلك

هيا

فقط المحيط

نعم، انه مثل الحقيقي

جريج

ماذا

لقد فيلم سطار السعودي سيما كلوب وعدت بعدم اخراجه أمام موقع شاهد فور يو الضيوف

لا داعي للحرج

هذا غريب

سننطلق بعد اطعام الصغير

لن تذهب بوضعك

السيء، كما قال الطبيب

سنتأخر كثيراً ان بقينا

جريج، لماذا تقود بنا

حسناً فأنا المساعد

انتبه

كنت أرغب هذا

مروا

آسف علي الالتزام بهذه السرعة

هل تريد افلام سينما رفيق

نعم لا بأس ، اجلس

ماذا عن قهوة

لا موقع ماي سيما افلام مصريه 2022 داعي

لا تقلق

حسناً إذا

جينا استيقظي

واصنعي لـ"جريج" قهوة

هيا يا إمرأة

لست متعباً

اهدا هذا المكان معزول صوتياً

حسناً ، كان هذا جيداً

نعم

ما عليك التحدث مع امرأة

هكذا ، أنت تعلم افلام مصرية 2023 ذلك

نعم بالطبع

يصل الرجل إلى عمر

معين حيث يعلم ما هو مهم

أتعلم ما هو

الحب والصداقة والحياة بالحب

وريثه

حفيدي مثلاً جزء من ورثتي

وبعد ست اشهر ستتزوج

"جام" موقع سيما لايت وتكونوا عائلة

في هذا الموضوع كانت لدي

اقتراح عن موعد الزواج

سنتحدث في هذا لاحقاً

إن فعلاً ارتبطت عائلتي

بعائلتك سنكون حلقة

لا أريد كسور في الحلقة

نعن حسناً

لم اقابل عائلتك فلن أقرر على شيء

ولكن إن رأيت من أين أتيت

سأعرف إلى أين أنت ذاهب

ها تعتقد أن من اشهر افلام الجريمة من 6 حروف عائلتي كسر في الحلقة

محامي ، لا داعي للقلق

تبدو افلام 2023 جميلة lone star 9-1-1 season 1 ماي سيما جداً

هل هذا أباك

نعم

ظننتكم آتون الليلة

لقد تركت لكم رسالة

لم أتلقاها

تعال وعانقني

أليس أكثر الشباب وسامة

لقد أنجبته بخصية واحدة

حقاً لدي واحدة فقط

ولكن تخيلوا شكله

إن كان لدي خصيتان

جميل يا أمي

ما هي الجميلة

سعدت بلقاؤك

أنا أسعد

لا بد أنك فلم الأب

"نعم أنا جاك "بيرنر

"وأنا افلام ماي سيما "بيرنارد

فوكر" أبو "جي لورد

ونحن نتصافح فقط

افرح تعال وعانقني ، لا تخجل

هل تتدرب

نعم أحياناً ،

فأنا ألعب كرة فشار القدم

"كنت أتمرن على "الكامبريرا

نعم الرقص افلام اجنبي القتالي

إنه يعرفها

إني امارسها منذ أسابيع

من هذا ، هل هذا طفل

نعم

مورس" توقف"

من هذا

هذا حفيدي جاك

كيف حالك

تكلم افلام ديزني 2022 معه شخص عادي

ماذا تقصد انه طفل

سأتكلم معه بهذه الطريقة

إنه يحبني

هذا البيت عمره اكثر من مئة سنة

سأخبر أمي بوصولنا

الحمام العلوي معطل لذا

علينا ماركة هذا الحمام

والماء قليل على هذه الجزيرة

لقد نسيت

حسنا إلى الأمام الخلف

الآن الوضع العكسي

إنه جاهز

هذا الموضع ملائم جداً

عزيزي

حسناً انتهى الدرس

أحبك افلام مصرية 2022 كثيراً

أنت نحيل

أنا بخير

كيف سنفسر هؤلاء افلام رعب 2023 الأشخاص

إنهم يغادرون لن يلاحظوهم

لا تخبريهم إنك مستشار جنسية

لا تقلق سأخبىء كل شيء سيما كلوب في مكتبي

كيف أمورك مع جام

ممتازة

لا تتكلمي هكذا

ماذا يفعل

لا تقلق

هل تصطاد واي سيما الغزلان

"لا ، أكره ذلك الشيء

، أعطانا إياها أب "روز

جريج افلام هنديه 2023 يحب اصطياد البط

نعم

جاي" هل اصطدت البط مع جاك"

نعم

هل قتلت بطة بريئة

لا أظن أنها ماتت

يا موقع افلام سيما كلوب المؤسس عثمان الموسم الرابع إلهي

والآن للمفاجأة

يا إلهي

سأعود بعد لحظة ، ما هذا

أنه انت

انا

ألسي رائع أن نعرض إنجازاتك

هذا رائع

ميدالية المركز التاسع

،ى لم أكن أعلم ذلك

إنها موجود للمركز العاشر

هل يرغب أحد بشراب

أفضل ممرض

جميل

"نحاول زرع خصل

العاطفة في "جي لورد

نريده أن يحب ما يفعل

لا أفهم ، أظن المنافسة سيما أفضل

حسناً

وداعاً

ما طبيعة عمل أمك جريج

تبدو مثل افلام رعب 2022 اليوغا

إنها يوغا اسك للزوجين

روز فشار افلام منهو ولدنا ماي سيما إلى غرفة الضيوف

مرحباً

كيف حالك تبدين بديل ماي سيما سيما فوريو جميلة

مرحباً ، انا روز

لااصدق أننا تأخرنا

لهذا الحد لنتقابل

من افلام اكشن 2022 مترجم كامل جديد هذا

إنه حفيهم

إنه جميل

هل اريتهم مكان النوم

حسناً هناك مكان رائع في مكتب افلام نتفلکس 2023 روز

في الحقيقة سنقيم

في بيتنا المتنقل

هيا أنت عائلة

أظن ذلك جيد

ذلك أسهل مع وجود جاك الصغير

إم ارادا ذلك لا تضغط عليهم

إنه أشبه بالفندق إنه رائع

إنه خيارهم ، حيث ترتاحون أكثر

اترك الموضوع

حسنا\ً

لقد موقع افلام بدون اعلانات تزوجت مراهقاً

لا تتكلم

لما لا نريهم البركة

حسناً تفضلوا

أبي

الأمور تجري بكل جيد

عليك نزرع ذلك الشيء

أنا افلام فخور بك

إنه سخيف فالناس لا

يفخروا بالمركز السادس

ومنذ متى وانت تهتم افلام اكشن 2022 بالناس

لا أهتم ولكن جاك يحب

المنافسة والرياضة

أنا فائز هنا وهناك

شكراً لك

ولحل ذلك صنعت ثدي شبيه بثدي امه

وبهذا لا يتعرض الطفل للحيرة

لا يتعرض للحيرة وهناك

رجل بثدي امامه ؟

نعم

أمي

ذلك فني جداً

أليس هذا جميل

نعم

لا تشربوا ، أريد أن أقدم نخباً

ليس لي بنات ولكن إن كان لي كنت

أتمنى لو أنها بجمال وهيئة جام

ظننت ان لك أخت

لا

قلت أنك حلبت هرة أختك

لقد تقابلنا جميعاً

هذا جميلاً

من أجل ايجي بست افلام العائلة

أريد قول شيء آخر

نعال إلى هنا عزيزي

أنت جميلة جداً

هذا شاهد فور يو مشروب لذيذ

السر هو الليمون شاهد فور

الطبيعي من أشجارنا

كان يعصر طول اليوم

هل ايجي بست أنت بخير

أظنهم أناس طيبون

نعم,

غير عاديون ولكن طيبون

هل تصدق أن الأولاد سيتزوجوا

أظنه تكلم

هل تكلمت

لا

ما كنت تقولين

لاشيء

إلى أين أنتما ذاهبان

لنرى بيت جاك

هل أستطيع أن أكلمك

لاتاخذوا الكلب فلديهم قطة

موزس مدرب

انه مثل اباك

ما الأمر

انهم جيدان

ما الأمر

انا حامل

حامل

ستنجبين طفل

نعم

تباً

سيقتلني أباك

لا,

لن يعلم لن نخبره

سوف يعلم

سنخبرهم يوم الأحد قبل الرحيل

لا اريد اسرار مع اباك

انه سر بسيط

مرحبا يا جيران

مرحبا بكم

انه رائع

لا اظن الكلب فكرة جيدة

لا تقلق

سوف يحزن كثيرا

اخرجوا ذلك الكلب من هنا

يا الهي

جنكى لاتفعل

موزس تمسك

هذا حمامي

اريد سيما روم الكلب

ماذا عن حمامي

كان يريد انقاذ الكلب

ماذا لو كان جنكى

كان سيعلم ماذا يفعل

انا اسف بشأن المنزل

لا باس

لا نستطيع اخبار اباك

اعلم

لا ادري ظننتني

سنتزوج قبل ان احمل

ماذا لو قربنا

الزواج للشهر القادم

قد ينجح

حسنا

هذا جميل هل فعلت ذلك بنفسك

نعم

كيف تجد الوقت وعملك لا يشغلك

يشغلني ,

لاأظن ذلك

لقد ضرتني ,

لماذا فعلت ذلك

لانك متواضع وقد قمت بقضايا كبيرة

في الحقيقة بعد ولادة

"جاي" تركت العمل

لقد كان جيدا في عمله سابقا

اذا لم يكن لديه عمل

لقد كان لديه اصعب we cima عمل

لما لا نتحدث عن زواجنا

"هل هذه "ازابيل

نعم , لديها مطعم وطلبت

منها مساعدة بيرني

كان "جاي" يحبها

لم يخبرني بذلك لانه ليس صحيحا

لقد مسكتك انه صحيح

سعدت برؤيتك

لم اراك منذ سنتين

لقد قمت بعملية تجميل

هذه دينا وجاك وهذه جام خطيبتي

لم تتزوج وهناك ولد,

انه وسيم

ليس افلام نتفلکس 2022 له

"انه حفيدي وليس له علاقة ب "جريج

احبك ايضا

سآخذه للداخل

انت محظوظة

أظن ذلك

ساخبرك موقع وي سيما بقصص عنه

سعدت افلام جوني ديب بلقائكم

المزيد من افلام هندية 2022 افلام توم كروز النبيذ

مرحبا

انها جميلة

نعم

ذكريات جميلة

نعم وخاصة

ألم تخبرها بشأننا

لا افلام هنديه 2022 لااعتقد

سرك في أمان

حسنا

انت في الوقت المناسب

"انا اخبرهم كيف

فقدت عذريتك ل"ايزابيل

كان في التاسع عشرة

هل افلام هندي ضاجعت ايزابيل

لماذا تكلمت عن هذا

اباك اراد ويسيما قص قصص المرة الأولى

يبدو ذلك جميلا

افضل ان نتحدث عن الزواج

الم تاخذيه للغرفة

انا اراقبه بواسطة هذا الجهاز

ماذا حدث بشان السرية

المراقبة تحمينا

انه محق

هذا افلام اكشن 2023 هراء لم يفعلوا ال"سي

ال أي ايه " شيء جيد

من هم

نقص المخابرات

اطنه بحاجة الى حليبك يا جاك

انا سينما ادربه

ماذا

ادعه يبكي كي لا يعتمد

لكن العلم يثبت ان الطفل

يستفيد من الملامسة البشرية

لا نفعل ذلك

هذا صحيح لقد ربينا جريج بطريقتنا

كان ينام معنا حتى بلغ العاشرة

لا اعتقد هذا صحيح

بلى ,

التاسعة افلام تويتر والنصف

بيرني كتاب الصور

انه هنا

لا ارجوكم

هذه شعراته الأولى

وهذه عالم سكر ماى سيما اسنانه

هذا جاي مع المويل

ذلك الرجل المطهر

حصلت مشكلة ولم تتم العملية

لماذا نتحدث عن هذا

! امي

انه محق

حسنا

لنقصر القصة انتهى

الموضوع بشبه مسلسل the last of us موقع ماي سيما دائرة

ماهو شبه الدائرة

احب سماع هذه

مشوه

لكنك اردت التحدث عن الزواج

ما هذه انه جلده

توقفوا

لقد انتهى الامر

لقد كذبت علي عن اول مراتك

نعم ,

ولم تكن انت صادقة بشان كيفن

كان مسلسل الاصلي افلام اون لاين علي إخبارك

مرحبا وي سينما جاك

عشاء مضحك

اعلم انك تدرس عائلتي,

فاصل اعلاني لاتقلق

جريج,

انا متاكد ان غدا سيكون افضل

طابت ليلتك

الا ترى القبعة على افلام هندي 2022 الباب

لقد ازلتها ,

توقفوا سادخل

تعلم معنى تلك القبعة

ارجوكم ساعدوني

لا افلام هندي 2023 يريدونا التصرف هكذا

صحيح

لا افهم ,

لماذا انت خائف من جاك

دعه يحس وي سيما انه مرغوب

امي وقت الافلام ارجوكم

"لا تعالجي آل "بيرنز

اعطوني يوم واحد وتنتهي الامور

حسنا,

ضع القبعة على الباب

لا ,

لاقبعة اليوم

صباح الخير

هل نمت جيدا

نعم

جميل وجودنا افلام اكشن معا

هل تعطيني بعض الخصوصية

اوشكت على الانتهاء

هذا لذيذ ,

ما يوجد فيه

الطعم من هذه المقلاه القديمة ,

لم اغسلها

اريد انتباه الجميع

سأعود حالا

اعلم اننا تكلمنا عن

موضوع افلام رعب ايجي بست الأصلي زواجنا في اكتوبر

ولكننا قررنا تقديمه الى يوليو

جميل

هذا الشهر

اردت زواجا في الربيع

يمكننا اعلان ذلك فور يو

في الحفلة الليلة

أي موقع سيما كلوب حفلة

حفلة خطوبة لكم

ظننته عشاء هادئ

كانت مفاجأه

هنا خمسين مدعو

متى كنت ستخبرونا بهذا

خمسين "فوكر" ماذا سيكون افضل

لانلعب الكرة

جاك افلام ديزني يجب ذلك لنريه اللعب

لنبدل الزوجات

جاي محايد على الطرفين

سأرمي الكرة والتقطيها

تريد ذلك

نعم

كفوا عن ذلك هيا

لفد امسكت الكرة

لقد مللت

دينا افضل افلام 2022 هيا بنا

حسنا

ابي عليك ان تركز

سنكون ماتشو ماتشو

ماذا ؟ لم اقل هذه الكلمات ابدا

حسنا لن اخيب موفيز ظنك

لقد عرفته ضعفه وسأستغله

انا وانت هيا

هل انت قادر افلام كرتون علي

بالتاكيد

ابي هل انت بخير

جاك هل انت بخير

دعني افحصك

انا بخير

كيف علم اباك بالحركة افضل افلام 2023 سيما فور ,

كانه كان يتوقعها

نعم

لقد تغلبنا عليه,

هل افلام مصرية كوميدية 2022 فرح

لا ,كدت تؤذيه

انت اردت الفوز

قلت لك ان تدافع وليس تقاتل

ماذا تريد يا جاي

اذهب واعتذر

حسنا

مرحبا عزيزي

اهلا

# Someone who loved me much as I love her #

# There have been trials and tribulations #

# And not just a few #

# But we made it through #

# And now the times are here #

# We're gonna get married #

# Have everything #

# But the sun #

# And the rain #

# We're a definite combination #

# We're gonna get married #

# Wait and see #

grunting

You must do something! Baby is coming!

Yeah. I know baby is coming!

Miss, you've to stay calm and take deep breaths, okay?

Myra, I need a doctor here right now.

I am working on it.

You're not a doctor?

No, I am a nurse.

You are man and you are nurse?

What kind of man is nurse?

Look, folks, I'm a professional, okay?

I know exactly what I'm doing, so just trust me,

everything's going to be fine, all right?

Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. You're fully dilated.

Hey, I need that doctor right now.

There are no free doctors.

Nurse, you're gonna have to deliver that baby yourself.

I can see the he

Holy shit!

screaming

Check it out.

We did it.

We ha boy.

A boy. You are my hero.

Mmmhmm.

I name baby for you.

Oh! You don't have to do that.

Yeah. I must. It is Latvian tradition.

We'll name the baby...

grunting

(Bernie on machine) Hello, you've reached the Fockers.

We're not around, so leave us a message. Goodbye.

Roz, how the hell do you shut this thing off?

(Roz on machine) I have no idea. Just press a button.

(Bernie) I'm pretty sure it's off.

Honey, you want a chimichanga?

(Roz) I thought they gave you gas.

A little bit, but it's worth it.

Worth it for you, but I'm the one that gets the fumes.

Honey, I'm in the mood for a chimichanga.

So make a...

beeping

Hi, guys, it's me.

D I told you six months ago

you have to change that message.

Anyway, I'm just calling to double check

'cause I didn't hear back from you.

You know that Pam and I are flying out to Oyster Bay today.

And, then, we're flying to Miami tomorrow with the Byrneses.

So just give me a call back on my cell, okay?

'Cause I want to go over a few things

about Pam's dand just, uh,

just some other stuff for the weekend.

All right. I love you, bye. Hey!

Hey, sweetie. How was your shift?

Oh! Guess what? What?

I delivered my first baby.

gasps No way.

Mmm. Yeah.

Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you.

It was incredible. I mean, just...

Just to be pulling this life force

out of this woman's...

You know, I mean, it was just so... It was...

The whole baby thing is... It's so cool.

That's great, honey. That's great.

So, uh, are you ready to go? I want to get to the airport early.

I know. Just give me a second.

You know how things always goes wrong.

The flight leaves in four hours.

I wish we could set a wedding date

without our parents actually having to meet.

Honey, this weekend is gonna be fine.

And your parents are great.

Oh, they're great in small doses.

Besides, you've already won over my d

and that is the hard part.

Mmm. That is true.

I mean, I am still in the Byrnes family circle of trust, right?

You're firmly in the circle.

chuckling

Finally.

Oh, taxi!

# All the time #

# As we go walking by #

Going to the airport?

Yeah.

Take mine.

Great.

# It's all right #

Nice guy. Yeah.

# Hold you tight #

# We're gonna get married #

# Take her hand in mine #

# We'll be looking fine #

# In the sweet sunshine #

You two, you're up.

# Please don't leave #

# All those who love us to be there #

# One great big happy family #

# We're gonna get married #

# Wait and see #

Oh, dear.

What?

Well, they overbooked coach.

sighing

So what does that mean?

Do we miss our flight or...

Well, we are gonna have to upgrade you to first class.

Really?

chuckling

Thank you.

grunting

Oh! Sir, why don't you let me take that for you?

Okay, yeah.

So, uh, you wanna check it or put it on another flight

'cause that's cool, whatever you want to do.

I'm just gonna store it in the Captain's closet.

That was nice.

Yeah.

Champagne?

Thank you.

Champagne, sir?

Thank you.

Enjoy.

# We'll be looking fine #

# In the sweet sunshine #

Would you like to purchase rental insurance, Mr. Focker?

Um...

No. Thanks.

No?

whispering It's a scam.

That's how they make all their money.

That's true. You don't need it.

Get out of here.

# We're gonna get married #

# Wait and see ##

The House of Byrnes.

Lot of good memories here.

Mom? D

I am watching you.

gurgling

Well, almost,

but you have to do it with two fingers.

One on each eye like this:

I am watching you.

gurgling

We'll get back to that later.

Guess who's here?

It's Prof. Einstein.

Hi, Little Jack.

You're a genius.

I see a Nobel Prize in your future.

Yes, I do.

Study break, boys. Company's here.

Pamcake!

Flapjack!

chuckling

(both) Shortstack, shortstack coming up!

Put some syrup in the cup.

Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa.

That's how it goes, right?

That's okay, Greg.

Nice to see you. Yes.

Nice to see you, Grandpa.

Little Jack gurgling

My God. How did my nephew get so big?

Look at you.

You look just like your mommy.

(Greg) He does, doesn't he?

Hey. Hey. This is Greg.

Remember we talked about him?

(Greg) Hey.

chuckling

Sorry, Greg.

The card only comes in one gender.

Oh! Yeah. Now, that's... that's all right.

Little Jack gurgles

(Jack) He's taking you in.

He has a very keen sense for people, Greg.

Mmm.

He's a chip off the old block, huh?

We might have another CIA man on our hands here.

I'd be discreet about my profession, Greg, if I were you.

You know what I mean?

As far as your parents are concerned, I'm still a horticulturist.

Hey, why is Little Jack here?

Are Deb and Bob housesitting, while we're in Florida?

No, they're in Ko Saimii, Thailand.

Checking on the clinic they opened during their honeymoon.

chuckling What is all this stuff, anyway?

After Denny was sent away to military school,

your father turned this into a learning laboratory

for youknowwho over there.

And do you talk yet, Mr. Munchkinhe

babbling

Greg, Greg, Greg. Don't infantilize him. Talk to him like an adult.

(Dina) Muskrat.

Huh?

Muskrat, Jack. All right.

chuckling

Just try to understand he's a little person.

His communication skills aren't verbal yet,

but he understands. Observe.

L.J., are you hungry?

Oh, wow.

mumbling

(Greg) Look at that.

"I would like to eat more please. "

"I'd like a nap,

and then later I'll enjoy a nice poop. "

spluttering

Oh, yeah. I've heard about this, this baby signing stuff.

This is like cutting edge. Like... Yeah.

Well, at this age, Greg, his mind is like a sponge.

Look, when he reaches your age, for example,

his mind will be far less capable

of absorbing useful information.

So cute. Hey, can I hold him?

Oh, l... I don't think that's such a good idea, Greg.

Muskrat.

Uh...

All right, all right.

This is Greg.

Greg will not drop you, okay?

Okay. Be careful.

Hello. Oh! Hello.

Hey.

I think he likes me.

No?

Ow!

Oh, shit!

Little Jack wailing

Focker. He's absorbing you like a sponge.

I don't want the first word out of his mouth

to be a profanity.

It's okay. It's okay.

Cover your nose. You're terrifying him.

Focker!

wailing

It's cool that your dis so into being a grandparent.

Yeah, I guess so. It kinda freaks my mom out.

She says he spends every last second with that kid.

horn honking

Oh, my God.

Daddy?

(Greg) Wow.

Daddy, what is this thing?

It's a customdesigned,

climatecontrolled motor coach.

Jack calls it the Highlight of our Twilight.

Wow. This is incredible.

Isn't it?

Yeah.

knocking on truck

Ooh! Like a tank.

Well, in these uncertain times, Greg,

I opted for a Kevlarreinforced hull

with twoinch thick plexiglas windows,

just like the ones they design on

the Russian Widowmaker submarines.

I want you to conduct a field test for us, Greg.

I want you to demonstrate

the impregnable outer skin of the coach.

Throw it at the window.

Oh.

Jack, I'm not gonna...

I'm not gonna throw a brick at your window.

It's a simple demonstration.

No, I'd... I'd really rather not. Throw the brick.

Okay. Great.

Just...

All your might.

All right.

Don't worry, your rental insurance should take care of it.

(Pam) You all right? What happened?

Come on,

we'll call a tow truck from the ro

Yeah. We're driving this to Miami.

I thought we were... I thought we were, we're flying tomorrow.

No, No. Airline travel being what it is these days,

so unreliable,

I'll feel much more comfortable

knowing I have my own Posturepedic bed,

my own thermostat, my own lavatory facility.

Uhhuh. So... so we're all going to be in this together?

We hit the roin exactly seven minutes,

seconds.

This way we'll get in early,

spend an extra half day with your parents,

getting to know them.

Isn't that great?

That is great.

(Roz) Worth it for you but I'm the one that gets the fumes.

(Bernie) Honey, I'm in the mood for a chimichanga.

(Roz) So make a...

answering machine beeping

Hey, guys, uh, it's me.

Listen, I'm getting a little worried. I haven't heard back from you.

Hope you got the message. There's been a little change of plans.

We're gonna be, uh, coming down in Jack's RV now,

so we'll be arriving tomorrow afternoon,

not tomorrow night.

Okay? Tomorrow afternoon.

And, also, uh,

they're bringing their little grandson,

so, uh, he's like a baby.

So... I don't know.

Oh, welcome aboard, me hearties.

Hey, this is incredible.

Yes, it's as big as our apartment.

Pretty neat, huh?

toilet flushing

meowing

Hey!

Mr. Jinx finally learned how to flush the toilet, huh?

Yeah. Jack installed a special flusher,

and he learnt how to do that in about two days.

Right, Jack?

Hey there, Jinxy. How you doing?

meowing

Ready to hit the ro CoCaptain?

Wow! I'm the CoCaptain?

Let's set sail, sailor.

##Going Up the Country by Canned Heat playing

# I'm going up the country babe don't you wanna go #

(Jack) Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

This is Captain Jack Byrnes speaking.

Yeah, Daddy!

(Jack) A quick announcement.

As a courtesy to your fellow passengers,

please remember that the onboard lavatory

should be used for number one only.

Should the need for number two arise,

we'll stop at the nearest rest stop, gas station,

or heavily wooded area.

Thank you. Welcome aboard.

I like that thing. Hey, do you mind if l, uh,

make a little announcement?

Well...

Only the captain gets to make an announcement.

You want to honk the horn?

Um... Sure.

Only the captain gets to honk the horn.

# I'm gonna leave this city #

# Got to get away #

# All this fussing And fighting #

Oh, look!

(Greg) Hey, Jinxy, see that?

# Now, baby, pack your leaving trunk #

# You know we've got to leave today #

(Pam) You hungry? Do you want some milk?

# But we might even leave the USA #

Hey! Jack?

(Greg) Oh, she wants you to honk the horn.

Not interested.

Rules of the ro She honks, you honk.

(Greg) Come on, Jack. Come on. Give her a honk.

honking

There you go.

whooping

girls yelling

(Greg) It's like a team or something.

"Honk if your are horny. "

girls yelling

gasping

Oh!

Thanks for that, Greg.

# 'Cause you've got a home #

# As long as I've got mine ##

(Roz) ... for you but I'm the one that gets the fumes.

(Bernie) Honey, I'm in the mood for a chimichanga.

(Roz) So make a...

answering machine beeping

Little Jack cooing

Hey, there.

No hard feelings, all right?

Little Jack gurgling

Friends? What's that?

What're you saying?

Now, wait a minute. What does this mean?

I know what this means.

Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. Oh, poop!

You got to poop, right? Okay, good.

Thank you for warning me.

Everybody poops. Sometimes it hurts.

It's okay. Just let it come out.

wailing

What did you do, Focker?

Nothing. He... I think he has to poop.

That's not the sign for poop.

That's the sign for milk.

This is the sign for poop.

Oh! What's the sign for sour milk?

'Cause, uh this tastes a little funky.

That's because it's from Debbie's left breast, Greg.

gagging

laughing

Ew.

Fortunately, she pumped for a week

to give us enough for the trip.

Okay, snack pack for Little Jack.

(Greg) What are you doing there?

Well, during the breastfeeding stage, Greg,

infants can get very confused and upset

when they're separated from their mothers.

So I invented something

to ease LJ's anxiety during chow time.

I call it the Mannary Gland.

I hit made from an exact cast

of Debbie's left bosom.

gurgling

Oh, yeah. Okay.

It's been so effective,

I'm thinking of getting it patented.

Would you like to touch it?

Uh, I wouldn't.

Oh, come on, feel how soft it is.

I can... I can see how soft it is from here.

No, feel it, Greg.

It's very... It looks very...

Just feel the breast, Greg.

Just a...

Oh, watch the nipple. Just around here.

Nipple is his.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It's got a great, lifelike, and a...

Or what I would imagine

Debbie's breast might... might actually feel like.

Not that I would know.

chattering

(Pam) Greg.

What?

Honey, you promised

you wouldn't take the boob out in front of company.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Breastfeeding is perfectly natural.

D that's not natural, that's just weird.

As soon as Little Jack's topped off,

we're gonna hit the ro

Oh!

Oh, Jack,

you can't drive any more tonight.

Dr. Monroe said no aggravating your sciatica.

Honey, we're on a very precise schedule.

We bunk here tonight,

we hit horrendous traffic in the morning.

Little Jack whining

Greg?

Yeah.

Maybe you could drive the night shift.

I could do that.

I am the CoCaptain. So, I think that falls

under my responsibilities, right? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I've been wanting to get behind the wheel of this big boy.

horn honking

cars honking

You got it. Pass.

horns honking

Captain Jack's orders.

Hmm.

door beeping

Hey!

Would you like some company, Greg?

Uh, yeah, sure.

If you can't sleep. Go on. Have a seat.

door beeping

How about a cappuccino?

Oh, you don't have to do that.

It's no problem for me.

Really? Yeah? Okay.

Dina!

Wake up and make Greg a cappuccino!

Shake a leg, woman!

Jesus, Jack, you know, I'm not that tired.

Really.

Relax, Greg. This cockpit's completely soundproofed.

You should've seen the look on your face.

chuckling Oh! Okay, okay.

You got me. That was... That was a good one.

Yes, it was. Yes.

Mmmhmm.

It's funny.

But you should never talk to a woman like that,

you know that, Greg.

It's disrespectful.

Right, of course. Yeah.

Greg, a man reaches a certain age

when he realizes what's truly important.

Hmmmmm.

You know what that is?

Love?

Friendship?

Enjoying the moment.

Living. Just love.

His legacy.

That, too. Right. Yeah. Sure.

Now, my grandson, Little Jack, is part of that legacy.

In six months, you and Pam are gonna be married.

Sometime after that,

you'll want to start a family of your own.

Yeah. Right. Actually, on the subject,

I hsome thoughts about the wedding date.

We'll discuss that later, after this weekend, Greg.

Now, let's get back on point.

Let me put it very simply.

If your family circle

does indeed join my family circle,

they'll form a chain.

I can't have a chink in my chain.

Hmm.

Yeah. Okay. I get the metaphor.

Now, I've never met your parents,

so I'm not going to jump to any hasty conclusions.

But, like studying a frozen caveman,

if I can see where you came from,

I'll have a much better idea of where you're going.

Okay.

Aare you thinking maybe my parents might be

like... like a chink in the chain or...

A doctor and a lawyer, what's there to worry about?

Mmmhmm.

birds cawing

(Dina) Ooh, it seems very nice.

karate cries

Is that your father?

karate cries

That is my father.

karate cries

(Bernie) Hey! There you are.

What the heck is that contraption?

I thought you guys were flying in tonight.

I left a message yesterday We were driving...

Oh, I didn't get a message.

(Greg) I left you like five messages.

Will you get over here and plant one on me.

Talking about messages.

I've been waiting so long to see you. My best buddy.

Good to see you.

Come here. Come here. Oh, I missed you.

Is this not the most handsome young man

you've ever seen in your life?

I used to call him a young Jewish Marlon Brando.

Huh?

all laughing

Can you believe

I conceived him with one testicle?

(Bernie) No, really. It's true.

I only have one because the other never dropped.

It's called an undescending testicle.

It's not uncommon, but look at him.

Imagine what he would have looked like if I htwo.

Greg chuckling

That's a good icebreaker.

Whoa! Ho!

There's the sexiest second grade teacher

I've ever seen in my life.

sputtering

That was a good one.

It gets her every time.

Goose bumps. She loves it.

I'm Dina Byrnes. It's so nice to meet you.

The pleasure is all mine, mon cheri.

exclaiming

You got to be the flower man.

That's right. Jack Byrnes, Pam's father.

And I'm Bernard Focker, Gaylord's father,

and we're all grownups here and we shake hands like men.

All right.

all laughing

Oh, we're just playing here.

Give me some love.

We're family now.

What're you so shy about? Come here.

Oh, wow. Look at those pecs.

Wow! You're harder than sheetrock.

Now tell me the truth.

You work out with weights, right?

Well, I do various calisthenics.

Some medicineball training, I play bimonthly football.

Oh, footiefootie football?

I was just, uh, practicing my Capoeira. What?

Oh, Capoeira. Yeah.

The Brazilian martial art of dance fighting. Yes.

He knows what that is. Yeah.

You know, I've been doing it for weeks.

I'm really into it.

It keeps me level.

Because sometimes I get wound up so tight,

I could just snap.

You know what I mean?

Little Jack wailing

What is that? What is that?

Is there a baby on board?

That's a baby. Yes, yes.

Yeah. Hmmmmm. It was all in the message.

Moses barking

Hey, Moses, go ahe

say hello to your future inlaws.

No, no, he's harmless.

And yeah, fixed. Moses.

That's all right.

(Bernie) Just shake him off.

Oh, no. Don't shake. He likes the shaking.

Moses, get off!

No, don't worry. The pink part didn't get on you.

(Greg) Moses, go, get in your basket. Go!

(Bernie) He's all talk.

Who's this little guy?

This is our grandson, Little Jack.

Oh, little baby.

babbling

How are you, Little Jack?

Hey, D don't... don't... don't infantilize him.

Just talk to him like a person.

What are you talking about? He's a baby.

I want to talk to him like he's a baby.

Bazooka! Bazooka!

wailing

(Bernie) He likes me.

When Roz's ddied, I said:

"Hey, we're freezing our tushies off here in Detroit. "

You know, "Let's hesouth

and get some yearround fun in the sun. "

D D you continue the tour.

I'm gonna tell Mom we're here, okay?

Oh! The upstairs bathroom is on el fritzo.

So we're all gonna have to share this one for now.

Since there's a water scarcity on the island,

we kind of abide by the "if it's yellow let it mellow,

if it's brown flush it down" policy.

Oops. Forgot my own rule.

toilet flushing

The RV has paid for itself already.

##music playing All right, kids.

Forward and backward.

(Roz) Rotate those hips.

Let's get your kundalini rising.

And now it's time for the ladies

to get into the reverse cowgirl position.

Guys, you have to lie across the Liberator p

like so.

Everyone look at how Ira's doing it.

Bingo. Bango. Bungo.

The man is loose, he's limber and he's ready for action.

So, climb aboard, girls,

and let me hear your bodies talk.

Ooh!

Whoa! Yes!

This position is terrific

for anyone with osteoporosis, gout or goiter.

Stay with me, kids. We're almost done.

Ah! Honey!

Oh! All right, guys.

We have to wrap it up. Everyone.

Remember to take your Liberator pads.

And don't forget to stretch before you try this at home.

We don't want anyone shattering a pelvis.

Hello, my precious.

Oh, I love you so much.

I haven't seen my bubeleh in months.

Honey, you feel thin. No, no.

You're not eating. What's the matter?

No. I'm fine. Mom, how do we explain all these people to the Byrneses?

Honey, they're leaving. The Byrneses won't know they were here.

Okay. We agreed to be discreet about you being a sex therapist this weekend

until you got to know Jack and Dina better. Right?

Don't worry. I'll be discreet. I put all my toys away.

And my office is all ready for them to sleep in.

Your office? No, no. we're putting them upstairs.

Your father thought they'd be more comfortable down here.

The upstairs plumbing... You don't wanna know.

Talk to me about something important, honey.

How are things with you and Pam?

They're great.

Because, you know, after two years,

you have to work to keep things going.

Does she still climax regularly?

Mom.

You can't talk that way this weekend, okay?

Honey, I'm just saying

I didn't raise you to be a soso lover.

I know. Okay, what is he doing?

What? Don't... don't worry about them.

Mom, Mom,

you got to get these people out of here now.

Okay.

Wipe that little gloss off you.

Okay.

You hunt deer, Bernard?

What? No, I hate that thing.

Roz's father gave it to us.

He was into all that machowacho crap.

Oh! So is Greg.

He and I went duckhunting together. Didn't we, Greg? Hmm?

Duckhunting? Me and you?

Duckhunting? Yeah. Mmmhmm.

What? What?

Gay, you went duckhunting with... with Jack?

Um, yeah. We went, we did.

We went on a little hunting trip.

You shot a duck?

I shot at a duck and... Mmmhmm.

You killed an innocent creature of the sky?

I don't... Did I... I did... I don't...

I think I might've clipped it or...

Never really checked.

Oh, Lord.

And now, for the piece de resistance.

gasping Oh, my goodness.

Little somethin' I've been workin' on.

Oh, I see. Oh.

Mom will be out in a sec. What's that?

It's you.

It's the Wall of Gaylord.

The Wall of Gaylord?

Isn't it nice to finally display your accomplishments, Son?

Honey, look at all your awards.

That's great.

He's my champion.

Oh, I didn't know

they made ninth place ribbons.

Hey! Anybody want to get a drink by the lagoon?

This one looks impressive.

"Mazel tov, Gaylord M. Focker. World's Greatest Nurse. "

chuckling

Very nice.

We've always tried

to instill a sense of self in Gaylord

without being too goaloriented.

It's not about winning or losing,

it's about passion.

We just want him to love what he's doin'.

You know what I mean, Jack?

Not really, Bernard.

I think a competitive drive

is the essential key that makes America

the only remaining superpower in the world today.

Well, whatever works. Mmmhmm.

(Roz) All right. Don't forget the positions.

Bye, Dr. Roz. You're a lifesaver.

Oh, Thank you, BJ. Goodbye.

Ira, remember, easy on the thrusting.

(lra) Bing, bang, bong.

What... What kind of work does your mother do with those patients?

Those look like yoga mats. Is there yoga involved?

It's yogaesque.

It's sort of, um,

a, um, a... a... a couples therapy.

Kind of mindbody...

It's kind of her own sort of...

Rozela! Sweetheart, living room!

Hello! Hello! Hello!

How are you, baby girl?

Good, Roz.

God! Look at you, you're glowing!

Oh, thank you.

Hi, I'm Roz Focker

you must be Jack, and you must be Dina.

Hi.

l... I just can't believe

it's taken us this long to meet, huh.

And who's this little hairball?

They brought their grandson Baby Jack along.

He's so adorable. I could eat him up.

Bern, did you show them where they're sleeping?

Right, right, right. Because we don't have any airconditioning,

I made up a nice spot for you in Roz's office 'cause it gets the best breeze,

and it's very near the communal commode.

Oh, well, you know, actually, we're gonna stay in our motor home.

In the trailer?

Come on, Jack. You're family.

We sleep under the same roof.

Actually, Mom's office is kind of cluttered.

So, that... that works all right.

It's just really easier with Little Jack.

No, no. Really. We insist.

They wanna sleep in the trailer,

let them sleep in the trailer.

Mom, it's not actually... It's not a trailer.

It's kind of like... It's like a... like a hotel on wheels.

This is practically a hotel. I was gonna do the turndown service...

I know, I know, but it's their choice.

Wherever you feel most comfortable is fine.

(Bernie) It's not right. Bern, let it go.

Let it go? Fine.

Yeah, let it go.

Look at you, sulking.

Now, look at this. I married a teenager. Right?

At least you have the libido of a teenager.

I gave her a little matinee today...

Oh! Don't you dare! Stop it!

chuckling How about a double feature?

laughing

(Bernie) Come on. Come on.

Lagoon? Why don't we go show them the lagoon?

The lagoon. Come see the lagoon.

The lagoon, Jack. Come on.

We'll get drunk,

we'll take a piss in the lagoon.

(Bernie) Roz, why don't you take them outside?

Show them around. I'll make a drink.

Oh, God.

(Greg) Hey, D..

It's going good so far, right?

D you gotta take down that weird shrine thing.

But I'm very proud of you, Gaylord.

What's wrong with showing it?

It's ridiculous.

Most people aren't proud of sixth place ribbons.

Most people?

Since when do you care about most people?

I don't, but Jack is really into winning

and competition and sports.

It's a whole other thing with him.

Hey. Hey. You're a winner up here and in here.

And that's all that matters.

Okay. Thank you.

I don't know what that means, but thank you.

(Jack) So, to solve that problem,

I created a lifelike latex left breast

molded from his mother's actual left breast,

so this way LJ would avoid any nipple confusion.

You're avoiding confusion by strapping a boob on a man?

Well, yes, believe it or not,

it is less confusing because of the texture

Mom.

...of the breast itself.

Uh, I guess it's very, uh, creative.

It's very creative.

##Bernie humming

A little birdie told me that one of our guests here

is a Tom Collins man.

all laughing

Oh, for pity's sake.

Isn't that nice, Jack?

That is nice. Thank you.

(Bernie) All right. Wait. Don't drink. I want to make a toast.

So, unfortunately, I never hthe chance to procreate a daughter,

but hI been able to,

I really would've wanted a girl

as sensitive and as intelligent

and as beautiful

as this young lady sitting right here before us.

Thank you, Bernie.

And if I might add...

Greg.

Yeah.

I thought you ha sister?

Nope. No sister.

You said you ha sister.

You said you milked your sister's cat.

(Bernie) Okay, I'm not done yet. What I'm trying to say is,

it's taken far too long to do this, you know,

but we're finally all together.

(Roz) That's nice, honey.

Oh, thank you.

All right, that's enough.

L'chaim, everyone.

(all) L'chaim!

L'haha.

Like you have popcorn stuck in the throat. It's a...

Okay. To family.

all laughing

To family.

Oh! I forgot.

I want to say one more thing about my vasectomy.

(Roz) Sit down.

Honey, get yourself over here.

I went overboard?

(Roz) A little bit.

You're so cute, they'll forgive you anything.

(Bernie) God! You're so beautiful.

whispering You are the sexiest woman alive I know.

Mmm. You're just trying to get me back into bed.

(Bernie) Or the hammock.

clearing throat

This is a delicious Tom Collins.

What I did, I used real lemon juice.

It's from our trees here. That's the secret.

He was squeezing all afternoon.

Yeah. And, Jack,

I managed to make some lemon juice, too.

both laughing

gasping

(Bernie) Gay, you all right?

Honey, you okay? Are you sure?

frogs croaking

Well, I think

that Roz and Bernie seem like very nice people.

Oh! Very nice people.

A little offcolor, but very nice.

Oh! But isn't it wonderful, Jack?

After all this buildup,

the kids are finally getting married.

I feel so happy.

Wait a second. I think he just spoke.

Little Jack, were you about to speak?

farts

Nope, just a little flatulence.

What were you saying, honey?

Nothing, dear.

Guys, where are you going?

We're checking out Jack's machowacho trailer.

Yeah. I want to see that boob.

Can I talk to you for a sec? Yeah.

Hey, listen, don't let Moses go in there. They have a cat.

Moses is perfectly trained...

D he humps everything that moves.

Honey, he's like his father.

I never cheated on you.

They're not listening to me.

So, what's up?

They seem to be getting along really well, don't you think?

Yeah, they do. I know. I kind of feel bthat I worried so much.

Yeah. That was okay.

What's going on?

I'm pregnant.

You're pregnant? Mmmhmm.

I'm two weeks late. I'm nauseous,

my boobs hurt, and I can smell everything.

You're gonna have a baby. Yeah. A baby.

Oh, we're gonna have a little baby, a baby.

I'm pregnant.

I just... I...

laughing

Yeah.

Oh, shit!

You realize your father is going to kill me?

No, no, no, no, no.

He's not gonna find out because we're not going to tell him.

No, no, no, no, no. Come on. He's a human lie detector.

He lives to sniff out stuff like this.

We'll get through this weekend,

we'll get through tomorrow.

And... and... and we'll tell them on Sunday before we go.

Okay? We'll tell them all.

I just hate the idea of keeping secrets from your d

It's just one little secret.

Oh! Hi, neighbors.

Hello.

The Fockers, honey.

A la fancyshmancy.

Welcome to the chateau.

No wonder they don't want to sleep in our shit box.

Look at this place.

Moses barking

l... I don't think the dog is such a good idea.

Don't worry. Moses is more of a lover than a fighter.

Jesus! Moses!

He's always dreamt of me having a white wedding.

You don't know how upset he's gonna be.

No, I do know.

(Bernie) Moses! Moses!

(Jack) Jinxy!

(Greg) D I told you to keep him out of the RV.

He said he wanted to see the RV.

Moses! Moses!

(Jack) Get that goddamn dog out of here!

Mo!

(Bernie) Oh, God!

Moses whimpering

(Greg) Oh! Jinx.

Jinx, don't do it.

Jinxy, no.

Don't do it!

(all three) No!

whimpering

Jesus! Moses! Hold on.

Moses, hold on. I'm gonna save you!

The cat can flush?

Oh, my God!

Little Jack wailing

Get out of the way!

(Jack) Hey! What the hell are you doing? That's my toilet!

I got to get my dog!

Forget your dog. What about my toilet?

Moses!

grunts

yelling

sobbing

(Pam) No! Stop the baby! Stop the baby!

screaming

wailing continues

(Bernie) He's alive!

He's fine.

So much for the protection of our rolling safe house.

Oh, honey, he was trying to save his pet.

I mean, what if it was Jinxy

who got flushed into a toilet?

Mr. Jinx has hextensive aquatic training.

He would have known exactly what to do in the event of a submersion.

purring

growling

clearing throat

Sorry about the trailer, Jack.

whispering Muskrat.

It's okay, Bernard.

growling

There's no way we're not telling him this weekend.

I know. That's what I was saying.

So, what do you wanna do?

I'm not sure. I never thought this'd be an issue.

I thought we'd be married before we got pregnant.

Hey. What?

Why don't we move the wedding up to next month?

What?

Then we'll tell your d

you got pregnant on the honeymoon.

Oh, my God, yeah, that could work.

Yeah. It's perfect, right? Yeah.

Okay. Good. Just follow my le

Okay. Okay.

##humming

Without further ado, my famous Focker Fondue.

all applauding

Come on, dig in. Come on. Get it while it's hot.

That is so impressive, Bernie. Did you do that yourself?

Oh, sure. Oh! I love to cook.

I can't even fry an egg.

(Bernie) True.

I burn cornflakes.

I'm amazed he finds the time to cook

with such a highpowered legal career.

Highpowered?

I wouldn't exactly call... Uhoh!

You kicked me. Why did you kick me?

I kick... kicked you because you're being modest

and you should tell people that you are a good lawyer, which he is,

aaand he has fought

some really big, important legal battles.

Truth is, Jack, when Gay was born, I stopped practicing

and became a stayathome d

Oh, believe me,

he won a trial or two in his day.

Oh! Extremely good trial lawyer.

A regular Clarence Darrow.

So Roz was the primary breadwinner

and you didn't have a job?

(Pam) D

Honey, come on, you could say he hthe hardest job.

Oh, he's... he's just kidding.

Of course, I'm... Yes.

Why don't we jump into the topic of the hour, hmm,

the big FockerByrnes wedding.

Yes. Good.

I know we've been talking about a... a fall wedding...

Bernie speaking in Spanish

woman speaking in Spanish

Is that Isabel?

Oh, yeah. Our former housekeeper, Isabel.

You know, she has her own catering business now, isn't that great?

And... and I asked her to come and help Bernie in the kitchen this weekend.

You didn't tell me she was here.

Gay ha monster crush on her when he was a teenager.

(Pam) Really?

I didn't have any monster crush.

You didn't tell me about that.

Yeah. Because it's not true.

Oh, not true? Then I didn't catch you doing baziga to her passport photo

(Roz) Honey, stop.

(Bernie) I walk in the door...

(lsabel) Where is he?

Oh, there's my baby!

Hey!

laughs

both exclaiming

Good to see you.

Mmm. Good to see you.

l... I haven't seen you in years.

I know.

Mmm. Yes, you...

Wow! Yeah. Look at you. You look...

I know.

Yeah. You look...

I ha boob job. Wow.

cooing

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey! This is, uh, Dina and Jack Byrnes.

Mucho gusto.

Hi, Isabel.

Mucho gusto.

And this is Pam Byrnes, my fiancee.

Encantada.

Nice to meet you, too.

Not yet married, and already a little one?

And he is a handsome little Focker.

laughs

See?

Oh, no. He's not a Focker.

Yeah, no. He's not mine.

And still you stayed to raise her child?

Good for you.

No, he's Pam's nephew.

He has no connection to Greg whatsoever.

babbling

speaking in Spanish

babbling

I love you, too.

Mama! Mama! Mama!

all laughing

Little Jack, no.

Those aren't for you.

mooing

babbling

Oh.

Mom.

I think I'll take him inside.

(Jack) Good idea.

You're a very lucky woman, Pam.

He's very special, this one.

laughing

I think so, too.

Oh, I could tell you some stories about him.

Really?

Oh, she's just being silly.

Nice to meet you all.

Nice to meet you.

So sweet. Oh! So sweet.

clears throat

Hey, do you guys want some more, uh, wine?

Mas vino por la mama, si.

Hey.

Hey, you did good, Greg.

She's very pretty, this one, huh?

Yeah, she's, uh, she's really great.

Really great.

speaking in Spanish

So many wonderful memories from those days.

Yes. Yes, lot of wonderful,

kind of private memories.

So, you never told your fiancee about us, huh?

Um, no, I don't think I did.

I don't, I think, I don't think it ever came up on my end.

Not that I didn't want her to know. It just, never really...

Yeah, and not that, l... I mean, not that it wasn't great.

It was really, you know, for me it was like...

And you were so

helpful and... and...

Don't you worry, baby.

Your secret's safe with me.

Okay.

There's no secrets. But, good, yeah,

maybe if we keep it quiet this weekend and then...

Because, yeah, I don't want Pam to feel uncomfortable.

And then later, when it's the proper, you know, setting, I can...

Okay, yeah, okay, good. And, uh...

Good.

Oh, and fondue, fondue is going... is goin' over.

Gay, you're just in time to hear me tell the gang

how you lost your virginity to Isabel.

door closing

You sslept with Isabel?

We were relieved.

Why... why would you, why... why would you bring that up?

What's the problem?

Honey, your father thought

that it'd be fun to share stories

about our first time.

Really? That sounds like fun. That's...

That's fine.

Come on, tell us how you popped your cherry. Come on.

I really don't feel comfortable

discussing that with you, Bernard.

You know what? I suggest that we get back to talking about the wedding.

Thank you, Bernie.

Little Jack wailing

What?

Mom, didn't you just take Little Jack back to the room?

I'm monitoring him from a highpowered

multidirectional microphone planted in his crib.

Oh, baby monitors. Hidden cameras.

Whatever happened to a little thing called privacy?

Bernie, surveillance technology has helped protect

a lot of the freedoms

that we as Americans take advantage of today.

He's right. It has been good.

Sson, that is bullcrap in a chef's sal

Jack, tell me one smart thing the CLIA has done

and I'll give you the deed to her house.

The CLIA?

The Central Lack of Intelligence Agency.

Bernie and Roz laughing

Little Jack wailing

I think that baby might need a couple of pulls

on that knocker of yours, Jack.

both laughing

No, it's okay.

We're Ferberizing him.

You're what? The Ferber method.

You let him cry it out. This way he doesn't depend on coddling.

On the other hand, the Continuum Concept

shows that a baby benefits

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Little Fockers

لقد استغرق الأمر 10 سنوات، وطفلين صغيرين من عائلة فوكر مع زوجته بام، وعقبات لا حصر لها قبل أن يتمكن جريج من التكيف أخيرًا مع والد زوجته المصاب بشدة، جاك. بعد أن حصل الأب الذي يعاني من ضائقة مالية على وظيفة في شركة أدوية، عادت شكوك "جاك" بشأن ممرضه المفضل. عندما تنزل عشيرة "جريج" و"بام" بأكملها لحضور حفل عيد ميلاد التوأم، يجب على "جريج" أن يثبت لجاك المتشكك أنه قادر تمامًا على القيام بدور رجل المنزل.

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